Breaking the long silence...

Hello every one!

I think by the time moves, we get more and more busy.

Currently, I have read all Sir Tony Blair's feedbacks, advices and all other papers and ready to make some changes to my writing with the help from writefix.com.

The subject is about:
Is animal testing necessary?

[See Tony's amended version below]

The animal test helped the medical industry to find out if their drugs are safe and has no side effects on people. Alternatively, some of these experiments are so painful that the animals could suffer for their whole life or die. This essay will look at some of the arguments for and against the animal testing.

The experiments on animals are so important to create new and helpful medicine, which cure new diseases. It is not easy to make a compound of chemicals that can be hazard free as for sure. In addition, we cannot risk a human life to use an untested medicine. Rather than thinking only on the nature's life, we need to know that they have saved many peoples lives from critical diseases. For example, millions of people in Africa were dead from the Malaria disease, which can affect you just by a mosquito’s bite in any time. Such disease has to be solved as soon as possible that needs some of animal lives without the hassle of long theoretical researches.

Yet, some medical research departments treat their animals as experiment tools that do not try to prevent unnecessarily tests or they even do not try to cure them after what they have done. From my own experience, I have once read a health related magazine about a new drug that can heal fever in early stages. Moreover, it was written that this experiment has been tested on two hundred mice to be sure of it is effectiveness. Because of this, I am wondering if they really need to have this amount of poor animals to consider their experiment as 'accurate'. These animals need an organization to protect their rights by watching over medical researches.

I conclude this essay by restating that animal testing is so important that we cannot stop to save some animal lives, but at least we can reduce the amount of unwise tests by issuing an organization that could watch the experiments decisions.

332 words, no time limit.

I am worried that I have repeated 'tests', 'experiments' and 'life' too much.


Cheers,

Here is Ahmed's essay with minor edits. He has produced an essay worthy of a band 7 level. Measure yourselves against this standard. Thanks for your contribution, Ahmed. I hope you find my edits helpful.

Tony

It is undeniable that animal testing has helped the pharmaceutical industry to find out if their drugs are safe and have no side effects on people. However, some of these experiments are so painful that the animals could suffer or even die. This essay will look at some of the arguments for and against animal testing.

Experiments on animals are extremely important to create new and helpful drugs which can cure diseases. It is not easy to make a chemical compound that can be 100% hazard-free. In addition, we cannot risk a human life to use an untested medicine on. Rather than relying just on nature, we need to know that these new remedies have saved countless peoples' lives from critical diseases. For example, millions of people in Africa die from malaria. This disease has to be solved as soon as possible even if it means sacrificing some of animals' lives without wasting years in theoretical studies.

Yet, some medical research departments treat their animals as experiment tools and do not try to prevent unnecessarily tests. From my own experience, I have once read a health-related magazine about a new drug that can heal fever in early stages. Moreover, it was written that this experiment has been tested on two hundred mice to be sure of its effectiveness. Because of this, I am wondering if they really need to kill this amount of poor animals to consider their testing as 'accurate'. These animals need an organization to protect their rights by watching over medical research institutes.

I conclude this essay by restating that animal testing is so important that we cannot stop to save some animals' lives. Nevertheless, we can at least reduce the number of unnecessary animal tests by forming an organization that could regulate the animal testing process world-wide. (301 words)

Any reaction? Do you have any further input? If not, then why - is this now a perfect essay?

Comments please!